Anxious Heart
by RySenkari
Summary: Lincoln is having trouble sleeping when he spends the weekend at the Casagrandes'. It's not homesickness, he's just... worried, and when Ronnie Anne sees him tossing and turning, he worries even more, thinking she won't understand. But Ronnie Anne does understand, and maybe she can help Lincoln deal with his anxiety. A story for Ronniecoln Week.


_What's wrong with me?!_

Lincoln tossed and turned on the couch, pulling a thick, wool blanket even tighter around his body. He shifted positions on the soft cushions, but no matter what he tried, he couldn't get himself to fall asleep. It had been four hours, and it was now past midnight. The night was already halfway over.

He wasn't in his familiar bed in the Loud house's converted linen closet. Instead, he was sleeping on the couch in the living room of the Casagrandes' apartment. It was the first time he'd ever spent the weekend at Ronnie Anne's place in Great Lakes City, at least without any family members coming along for the ride. He thought he'd be able to sleep easy: the couch was actually pretty comfortable and he'd worn himself out playing video games all evening with Ronnie Anne, but somehow, he couldn't stop his mind and his heart from racing.

_Oh man, what if I never get to sleep?!_

As Lincoln continued to fret, he could hear someone entering the room, which made him fret even more.

_Who is that? Is it Bobby? Ronnie Anne's mom? Oh man, if they come in here and see I'm still awake, they'll think I'm super weird! I'll probably get in a lot of trouble. Maybe Ronnie Anne will get in trouble! Why can't I just go to sleep?_

Lincoln closed his eyes and tried to pretend to be asleep as he heard soft footsteps enter the room. Even though he tried not to move, the urge to toss and turn on the couch was too much to overcome, and he shuffled around and groaned beneath the blanket. The footsteps stopped.

"Lincoln? Are you still awake?"

The voice didn't belong to Bobby, or Maria, or Carlota, or Frida... it belonged to Ronnie Anne, and that freaked Lincoln out worst of all!

"Ronnie Anne...?!" Lincoln groaned, turning on the couch to face her, his eyes betraying his worry.

"Trouble sleeping, huh?"

"I... I've been sleeping!"

Ronnie Anne, dressed in a purple t-shirt and light purple shorts, leaned over and looked into Lincoln's reddened eyes.

"You sure about that, Lincoln?"

"Uh... uhmm...!" Lincoln tried to hide his face from Ronnie Anne, only for her to sit down on the couch next to his feet, looking over at him with concern.

"What's wrong, are you homesick?"

"No..." Lincoln said weakly. He was a _little _bit homesick, but that wasn't the cause of his worries. He'd slept over at Clyde's plenty of times before, mostly without incident, and had even gone out camping in the woods for a whole weekend away from home and had had a great time.

"Is it the couch? Because we can switch if you want, I'll take the couch and you can sleep in my bed. I promise it's clean, Abuela makes me change the sheets every week."

"No, no, no, the couch is fine... everything's fine," said Lincoln. The couch was great, everything was great, and he was hanging out with one of his best friends... everything should have been perfect. But tonight, something was bothering him, and he couldn't put his finger on what it was, which made him feel even worse. "I just... I'm just... I don't know."

Lincoln sighed, unable in his drowsiness to come up with a good lie to tell Ronnie Anne. She just reached over and put her hand on his leg over the blanket, her expression softening.

"Just worried about stuff, huh?" she asked, a warm smile on her face.

"...I know, it's weird, right? And I can't sleep at all, every time I try to close my eyes and sleep, my mind keeps flooding and my heart starts beating really fast and I don't even feel tired anymore! Something's wrong with me but I don't know what it is, and I'm kind of scared and that's just making me stay awake even more, and I don't think I'm ever going to get to sleep tonight!"

Lincoln's voice was more and more distressed with every word he spoke. He wasn't just freaking out about not being able to get to sleep, now he was sure he was making Ronnie Anne think he was a complete weirdo, maybe even crazy!

_Ronnie Anne's probably never going to invite me over again. She might not even want to be friends again!_

"Lincoln... it's okay."

"Huh?"

"It's totally normal to feel that way sometimes."

"No, it's not..."

Ronnie Anne scooted closer to Lincoln, letting him rest his legs on her lap as she slid further down on the couch to comfort her friend. She didn't look angry or judgmental at all, she had a look of complete understanding, and as Lincoln continued to fret, she just patted him on the leg and softly stroked her hand across his chest.

"Lincoln, everybody gets those feelings sometimes, and some people get them more than others. It's called anxiety, and it's perfectly normal."

"Really?" Lincoln asked, slightly shocked that Ronnie Anne was being so caring.

"Yeah, dude, lots of people have anxiety."

"Do you?"

"No, but my mom does," said Ronnie Anne, using her knowledge about what her mother sometimes went through to try and relate to what her friend was going through. "It comes and goes, but sometimes she'll worry a lot about stuff too, without even having something specific to be worried about."

Lincoln continued to look slightly worried, and Ronnie Anne let him sit next to her, his legs still resting on her lap. She continued to talk about her mother's anxiety, and how it wasn't a particularly serious case, but that it was a medical issue that sometimes had to be treated.

"So yeah... there are times when she knows there's nothing to be worried about, but she still feels nervous and scared anyway, and it's impossible for her to calm down completely."

"I feel that way too sometimes," said Lincoln, still barely able to look at Ronnie Anne even though he knew she understood what he was going through. "Not very often, but every once in a while it keeps me from sleeping... and tonight, oh boy..."

"Hey, it's cool," said Ronnie Anne, gently pulling Lincoln in to lean against her shoulder. "It's gonna be okay."

"It doesn't feel like it right now."

"I know, and that's okay too."

"What if I can't get to sleep?" asked Lincoln. "What if the sun comes out and everybody's ready for breakfast and I haven't slept a wink and I'm super tired and I just want to sleep all day tomorrow?"

Ronnie Anne laughed, but just a little bit, and let Lincoln sit back up against the couch.

"What if your grandma tries to get me to eat breakfast? I'm worried she won't take no for an answer," said Lincoln, his eyes wide open.

"I'll let Abuela know you couldn't sleep, and that she needs to let you rest until you're ready to get up. She won't make you eat if she knows you're too tired, I promise."

"I read on the internet that if you miss even one night of sleep, you could get cancer!" shouted Lincoln, prompting Ronnie Anne to laugh even more loudly than before.

"That's clickbait, dude, you can't believe everything you read on the internet," Ronnie Anne replied. "Missing a night of sleep every once in a while never hurt anybody. My mom misses sleep all the time and she's super healthy. You'll be fine."

Lincoln sighed again, and Ronnie Anne pulled him in and gave him a tight hug, her hands gently rubbing his back.

"I know, I know, it doesn't feel like you'll be fine at all right now, huh?"

Lincoln just shook his head. Ronnie Anne's kindness and reassurances had calmed him down a little bit, but he was still nervous and his mind was still racing and his heart was still beating really fast.

"Hey, do you have someone else you can talk to about what you're feeling?" asked Ronnie Anne as soon as she parted from the hug.

"Well... what you described about your mom and me... I think Lori has it too," said Lincoln. "Anxiety. I think she has it pretty bad... but she probably wouldn't like me telling you."

"Oh yeah, I heard Lori and Bobby talking about it actually."

"You did?"

"Uh huh, I was trying to catch them doing something embarrassing, but when I peeked in their room I saw them having a pretty serious conversation. I felt bad about spying on them so I didn't listen very long, but I heard Lori talking about anxiety and apologizing for it and Bobby being super nice like he always is and telling her... well pretty much the same stuff I'm telling you I guess..."

Ronnie Anne blushed a bit, and backed slightly away from Lincoln out of sheer reflexive instinct. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's eyes met, and the two both looked away from each other.

"Yeah, I mean... I guess maybe I should talk to Lori about it. I just hope she doesn't get mad, I mean, I'm kind of embarrassed about it so I imagine she might be too."

"Lori's a great big sister, if you're open and honest with her about it I'm sure she'll be willing to talk to you. In fact, I bet she's probably looking for someone to talk to about it besides Bobby, the two of them are _always _talking so she's got to be getting bored of talking to him about it."

"Heh, I doubt that..."

The two kids shared a laugh with each other, and found each other's eyes again. Lincoln could feel his nervousness start to fade, but it was still mostly there and he still dreaded trying to go back to sleep. As if able to sense Lincoln's anxiety, Ronnie Anne kept her eyes squarely on his, and reached under Lincoln's blanket to take his hands in hers.

"Hey. Don't worry about getting to sleep. What I mean is... I'll stay in here with you. I'll keep you company as long as you need me to, and if you can't get to sleep, I'll stay up all night with you."

Lincoln's eyes widened. He looked... guilty. He felt like he was being a burden on Ronnie Anne. He couldn't sleep, and now she wouldn't sleep until he could.

"No..."

"Lincoln, it's okay. I won't leave until you fall asleep. I promise. If you need a snack, if you want to turn on the TV or play some video games, I will too. You don't have to worry, and even if you are worried, that's okay. If you want me to just sit here on the couch while you toss and turn and try to get to sleep, I'll do that too and I won't get mad. I like being with you, and I'll stay up all night with you if that's what you need me to do. I'm here for you."

Lincoln stared wide-eyed at Ronnie Anne, who continued to hold his hands and smile the warmest, most understanding, most graceful smile he'd ever seen, her voice not showing a hint of resentment, her eyes not showing a hint of annoyance.

"Ronnie Anne..." Lincoln's voice almost broke, and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. _No, no, no! Now I'm CRYING in front of her? She'll think I'm super lame! She probably thinks I'm super lame right now! She might be saying she wants to stay up with me but I know she thinks I'm a big jerk... oh man, Lincoln, you've ruined everything!_

Lincoln felt a tear go down the side of his face, and immediately, Ronnie Anne's finger was there to catch it.

"It's okay, Lincoln."

Ronnie Anne clasped Lincoln's hands tightly and leaned in. Before Lincoln could pull away, her lips were on his, and the two were leaning into one another, their t-shirts brushing together. Lincoln felt more tears slip down his face in a warm stream, and Ronnie Anne pressed her cheek into his to show that no matter how much he cried, she didn't think less of him at all, not one bit. Finally, their lips parted, and their faces backed away. Lincoln sniffled, but he was smiling. Ronnie Anne was smiling too.

"Thank you..." Lincoln whispered, unable to speak any louder without crying again.

"Don't mention it," Ronnie Anne replied. "Feel better?"

Lincoln nodded, and felt another wave of drowsiness come over him. He tried to sit up, but found himself laying back down on the couch, his head against the pillow. Ronnie Anne pulled the covers over him and kept her promise, scooting back over to sit down next to Lincoln's feet and watch over him as he once again tried to get back to sleep.

"Just let me know if you need anything, okay, Lincoln?"

But Lincoln didn't answer, because as soon as he closed his eyes again, he had drifted off. Ronnie Anne continued to watch him to see if he would wake back up, but he didn't, and after ten minutes without seeing him so much as turn over, she quietly rose from the couch. She took a few steps over to where Lincoln's head was resting and leaned down, kissing him softly on the cheek.

"Good night, Lame-O," she whispered affectionately. Then, she continued walking until she was almost out of the room. She took one last look at Lincoln resting on the couch, then exited, making her way back to her own bedroom with the knowledge that her friend was now sleeping comfortably, his anxiety, at least for the moment, having subsided.


End file.
